


Lost my way while I was fighting the tide

by EponineTheStrange (gallifreyandglowclouds)



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 04:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/832960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallifreyandglowclouds/pseuds/EponineTheStrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Karen is jealous of all the time that Matt and Jenna are spending together</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost my way while I was fighting the tide

Literally, fuck Jenna-Louise Coleman. 

Karen realises that it’s not healthy to harbour resentment towards her replacement, because no one could replace her, she’s managed to convince herself of that. (Plus, it’s been affirmed by several independent sources, so Karen’s okay with it.) She also genuinely likes Jenna, and wants her to succeed on the show and be happy.

It’s just that she feels neglected by a certain lanky, somewhat clumsy but simultaneously rather dashing English actor who seems to be rather enamoured with his new co-star. 

A little too enamoured, in her opinion. 

It’s nothing rational, she realises - even as she’s done over in the States and goes back to Inverness, he never misses a scheduled Skype chat or call, and e-mails her as much as he ever did. But when she sees those pictures of Jenna and Matt on Nerdist, she would have strongly preferred to throw darts at the computer, and then there’s all those stupid stills from  _Bells of St. John_ and them getting interviewed together, and in combination it just makes her want to pull her hair out. 

She rants to Arthur about it one night over Skype.

kgillan: he’s so totally snogging her i can tell 

darvillian: i strongly doubt that, seeing as she’s in a relationship for christ’s sake  
darvillian: plus, when are you so invested in who matt is snogging  
darvillian: something to share with the class?

kgillan: maybe  
kgillan: i don’t actually know   
kgillan: probably 

darvillian: you and he are the biggest idiots i know   
darvillian: but i love you anyways   
darvillian: but i don’t think he’s snogging her  
darvillian: if you google image them together he never puts his arm around her waist during photocalls 

It’s still not quelling the little green monster inside of Karen, and she knows she’s being an idiot but yet still feels compelled to make Matt pay for it in some way. 

* * *

smithereens: kaz

smithereens: kazza  
smithereens: something insane just happened   
smithereens: jenna and i were hanging out and…  
smithereens: seriously you’ve usually responded by now  
smithereens: karen?   
smithereens: are you alive?   
smithereens: are you staring at your computer screen watching these pop up and laughing?   
smithereens: you’ve usually responded by now   
smithereens: please don’t be dead i would miss you terribly 

* * *

She feels a small bit of petty joy as she watches the messages appear on her computer screen, and then almost immediately feels bad. 

It doesn’t mean that she abandons Operation: Shun Matt, though. He calls her and texts her several times over the next few days, and as long as it’s her cell she can usually just hit the magical ‘ignore’ button.

Then he starts calling her at home (and when in god’s name did he ever learn her home phone number?), which is significantly harder to avoid.

The first time he calls, her mom picks it up. “Hello? Oh, hi Matthew. Karen, oh she’s…”

Karen gesticulates madly to her mother, then realises she isn’t getting the message so she writes in giant letters on a piece of paper: I’M NOT HERE. 

“She’s… out. Getting groceries. Yes, that’s what she’s doing. I’ll tell her to give you a call back.” 

“Thanks,” Karen says after her mom hangs up the phone.

“Why don’t you want to talk to him? He’s such a nice boy.”

“It’s complicated, mom.” 

* * *

darvillian: you need to stop ignoring matt

darvillian: he’s going insane 

kgillan: he’s got jenna   
kgillan: he’ll be okay 

darvillian: she’s actually gone away WITH HER BOYFRIEND and he’s mopey and he’s pretty sure that you’re not dead, you’re just ignoring him   
darvillian: your mom’s a shitty liar 

kgillan: i’m irrationally jealous   
kgillan: because i was jenna, and we hung out all the time, and now i’m just some former co-star 

darvillian: you seriously believe that?   
darvillian: you think that’s how he thinks of you?

kgillan: why not?

darvillian: he thought about calling the police when you ignored his texts  
darvillian: please tell me that says everything you need to know

* * *

From: jl_coleman@gmail.co.uk

To: kgillan87@hotmail.co.uk  
Subject: Matt 

Hey Karen!

I know it’s been a long time since we last talked - I lost your mobile number, otherwise I would have probably texted you.

Can you stop ignoring Matt? He’s sort of got this pathetically huge crush on you, and now that you guys aren’t speaking anymore, he’s become all mopey and generally not fun to be around on set. 

So yeah. Just call him up. Talk to him. Come down to Cardiff and snog his brains out. Just snap him out of it, okay? 

\- Jenna 

* * *

After the e-mail from Jenna, Karen’s ready to call the whole game off and go and apologise to Matt and hope he doesn’t punch her in the face or never talk to her again in his life.

Then again, she’s underestimated him once more, and one sunny Saturday, he literally shows up on her doorstep. 

And of course, she’s the one answering the door, which means that she can’t jump into some conveniently located clothes closet, but based on the glower on his face, that’s seeming like a more and more attractive option. 

“Karen! Did I not teach you any manners? Let the young man in!” Her mom shouted from behind her. “And get him some tea while you’re at it.”

* * *

Matt stares at his cup of tea intently, as if it will tell him secrets if he looks hard enough. Karen’s mom had mercifully vacated the room, though Karen’s pretty sure she’s seen her peeking in to kitchen a couple of times.

“You’re not dead,” he said, finally breaking the awkward silence.

“Yup.”

“You’re not maimed, and your computer, mobile, and home phone are working.”

“Yes to both,” Karen replied. “What are you getting at?”

“If all of those things are true, then why aren’t you taking my emails, instant messages, phone calls, or messenger pigeons?”

“You sent a messenger pigeon?!!” 

He laughs a little at that, but it’s frustrated and taught. “Beside the point. You’re shunning me, and I want to know why.” 

She looks down at her tea and sigh as little. “Because I’m an idiot, that’s why.” 

“I know that, Karen. But something’s changed, and it’s not good, and I want to fix it.”

“Fine,” Karen says. She inhales deeply, and then continues, “I’m jealous of Jenna. Like, incredibly and insanely jealous.”  

Matt looks dumbstruck.”… But why?” 

“Because she gets to hang out with you, and that’s my thing, Matt! That’s what we did, we got to go bowling on Nerdist and hang out in your flat until  the sun comes up. But now it’s not us, it’s you and your wonderful co-star, and I don’t like it! Every time we talk, it’s ‘Jenna and I did this’ and ‘Jenna and I did that’. And I don’t like it, Matt!” 

He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “And you really couldn’t think of a better way to express this to me than ignoring me for three weeks.” 

“It seemed like a better idea at the time,” Karen says. 

“You do realise I thought about calling the police because I thought you’d been kidnapped?” 

She nods and grimaces. “I’m sorry about that. Arthur told me.” 

He doesn’t reply to that, just closes his eyes and rubs his temples. She’s pretty sure that the next thing that’s going to come out of his mouth is, ‘Thanks for the tea, I’m leaving now, feel free to lose my contact info.’ She doesn’t want that, and she starts wringing her hands because she’s so upset.

“I’m so, so, sorry Matt,” she whispers.

“You know,” he says quietly, not looking at her, “you needn’t be jealous of Jenna.” 

“Why?” 

He leans towards her then, and  _holy shit what is happening,_ then he gently cups her cheeks in his hands and kisses her gently.

There is nothing in that kiss that is remotely friendly, especially not when her lips part and he slides his tongue inside of her mouth. She shivers when that happens, and interestingly, regains enough control over her hands and arms (which were flailing from the moment his lips met hers) to wrap them around his neck.

(God, she really hopes her mom doesn’t choose this incredibly inopportune moment to take a peek in the kitchen and see how they’re doing.) 

They pull apart, and he’s panting a little when he says, “I have absolutely no interest in doing that to Jenna, just to be clear.” 

“Oh,” Karen says, because that’s about all her brain can form at the moment. “That’s… that’s good, Matt. Very good.” 

He stays that night for dinner, and curls up against Karen in her bed (‘no Matt, that can wait until I come and visit you in Cardiff, my parents are two rooms down!’), but has to go the next morning. 

“I will call you when I get back to Cardiff,” Matt says, after he kisses Karen just outside of her front door. “And you are going to pick it up." 

She nods, because she knows she will. 


End file.
